Rumi's Birth Story

Birth stories start long before the day of the actual birth. They start with our self worth, identities and stories, and previous birth experiences. I knew when I got pregnant that I wanted to try a home birth this time but I also knew there would be some inner work to be done and lots of processing fear and anxiety from my first birthing experience as well as Lennon’s time in the PICU at 17 days old.

When I was selecting my birth team the process was like unloading all the trauma again as I felt I needed to explain my postpartum anxiety and how deeply the experience of my baby being sick affected me. I won’t go into all the details but I want to emphasize something I realized along the way- that even if I didn’t end with the home birth I longed for, the entire prenatal process and experience is so different. I feel that my midwife (Aleks Evanguelidi) was the perfect person to help me face fears in a loving way, and prepare my body and mind for the birth and what would happen postpartum. The appointments are longer and were therapeutic for me, I had nutritional support and recommendations for easier recovery and space to cry or whatever else I needed. 

Half of my pregnancy I also didn’t know if a home birth would be possible. I had a low lying placenta at my 20 week ultrasound. There is risk of bleeding with how close it was to my cervix so the doctor recommended I keep coming in to see if my placenta would grow away from my cervix. I tried medical hypnotherapy and listened to recordings every night visualizing my placenta moving up. At my 30 week ultrasound my placenta had not moved enough-only 1/2 a cm. I was very disappointed and felt like my efforts were wasted. This was such a lesson in patience and trust for me. I wanted so badly to control every aspect of this birth and the health of my baby. But as yoga has taught me-you cannot control-you can make choices and then you have to surrender. So I changed my approach. I turned to the types of meditation and manifestation that I already knew. I focused on gratitude and thanking my body. I talked to my baby every day and asked my body to help me. I stuck with my plan and accepted that it might lead to a different outcome. At my 37 week ultrasound-my placenta had moved “far away” according to the doctor-the exact words I had been using in my hypnosis (guided by Luree). I was cleared for home birth. 

Now the actual birth day! There really wasn’t much action when I arrived at my due date August 25th. On the 26th in the evening I noticed I had lost my mucus plug or at least part of it. I also had cramping sensations and while I was sleeping began to feel contractions. I would half wake up and take a few deep breaths. It was very mild. The next day I felt pretty normal again but tried to get some things done and make sure the house was clean and ready. Then that night I noticed more mucus and a bit of blood. The contractions started again lightly around 10pm and I told Myles to start tracking them to see where we were at. I texted Aleks and Romy to let them know what was going on and that I would try to rest and sleep. At about 11pm I started tracking my own contractions and seeing if I could sleep through them. It quickly became apparent that I could not sleep through them as they began to get more intense and spaced around 7 minutes apart. I was also so excited. I was induced with Lennon so I had not yet experienced spontaneous labor or laboring at home before. 

At some point Lennon woke up and I brought her in to our bed to sleep with Myles and I. I was having to make low deep noises to get through the waves at this point so I went into the living room and left them to sleep. I called my doula Romy and she talked to me for about an hour on the phone, listening to my contractions and suggesting certain positions. She thought we had a little time still so I told her I’d call back in a few hours when I was ready for her to come over. By this time it was about 4am and I texted my sister to call me when she woke up. She intuitively was awake and we made a plan for her to pick up Lennon for a sleepover with her cousins. I spent the next couple hours riding the waves in the dark, breathing and moving. My favorite position was on my knees hanging over the birthing ball rocking back and forth and side to side. 

When the sun started to come up, I went in to wake up Myles and told him Lenny would be picked up in 15 minutes and that the baby was coming today. He shot up and said “I’ll make coffee!”. Lennon was very excited to go see her cousins. I had a moment with her before she left and explained that my belly would be gone and her baby sister would be here when she got home. I could tell she sensed everything I was feeling in that moment. We hugged for a long time and then she said “Mama, get the belly gone!” When she left it felt like go time. We called Aleks to tell her where we were at and both her and Romy got ready to come over. Myles was doing all the things-setting up the birth supplies, blowing up the birthing tub, making food and playing DJ. I just stayed my course and rotated positions breathing and moaning through the pain that was building and intensifying with every contraction. I decided to take a hot shower to ease some pain in my lower back. The water provided a lot of relief although  standing was not easy. At Romy’s suggestion I welcomed each wave knowing it was getting me closer to meeting my baby girl. 

When Aleks arrived, I was bouncing on the birthing ball and she came over to me and I just started silently crying. I felt like we had been through a lot to get to this place and this tender moment I will never forget. Romy arrived soon after. Her and Myles worked together to help relieve some of my pain with counter pressure on my hips, holding my belly up with a rebozo, and rubbing my shoulders and neck. I felt very supported and loved. Many times the thought “You will never have to do this again” came into my mind. 

After some time, which was moving both slowly and quickly I decided to get into the birthing tub. I wasn’t sure if it was too early because that’s where I wanted to give birth but it felt like the right move. Or at least A move-I needed a change. Myles got in as well and sat behind me. He breathed with me, put his hands on my chest to help ground me and provided words of comfort and encouragement when I needed. They offered me some suggestions to change positions in the tub but I did not want to move. I would grip Myles’ knees during contractions and mostly kept my eyes closed. I had to dig deep to get through the pain. 

Then things started to get even more real. I had hot flashes between contractions. Romy brought ice over and put cold washcloths on my forehead. Then I had the urge to vomit and was dry heaving after contractions. I knew I was in transition. I had not had any cervical exams at all during the labor. Voices from Lennon’s birth echoed in my head…”Don’t push, you’ll tear your cervix”. I knew that sensation to push was coming and I started to slip into fear and uncertainty. I needed help. Aleks told me I was made to do this. She asked “what would you do if I weren’t here?” I answered “I would call you!” Lol. But I knew what she was getting at…all the answers were inside me if I listened to my body. The urge to push came and with each contractions I pushed the baby down. On one of the first pushes- I felt a little balloon come out and pop into the water. My water had broken. It was clear with almost a white powder like substance-Aleks identified this as vernix. With every push I could feel her moving downward ready to enter our world. 

Then the pushing urge was changing slightly. My contractions were a little less intense. It was as if my body was resting before the last leg of this marathon. Aleks suggested I make less noise on these and channel all of my energy downward. She also told me to reach down and touch the baby’s head to help guide her out. Since Myles was still behind me she told me I would catch the baby myself. I was ready- my body had done this before. When the contractions picked back up I pushed and felt her head start to come out. I paused and was in so much pain. I thought I was being ripped in half. The next contraction wasn’t powerful enough but I needed this baby out right away. The next one I felt the urge strong and pushed about 3 or 4 times in a row. I felt her head come out- I screamed “I can’t do it, help!” then her shoulders and then her whole body slid out and I grabbed her and pulled her up into my chest. She was here. Covered in vernix, crying on and off and wiggling on my body. I was so in love and so in awe. And sooooo happy it was over. 

Myles and I held her together and welcomed her into our world. 

Rumi June Lavallee

8/28/24 at 11:53am

8lbs 7oz

21.5 inches long 

Aleks helped me birth the placenta and she put it into a bowl and it floated in the pool while we continued to be with our baby. Eventually they helped me out and to our bedroom. Myles stayed with the baby. When they helped him out he cleaned up and I took the baby to try to nurse. One of the best parts was that we were now just at home.  I was in my bed with my baby. Romy and Aleks went on a walk and found flowers from our neighborhood and made a beautiful  display around the baby still attached to the placenta. They weighed her and measured her and eventually Myles cut the cord with his grandfathers pocket knife. There was no rush- everyone cleaned up but also allowed time to move slowly. I felt euphoric with this perfect girl in my arms. Our family felt complete. 

I could not be happier with this experience- the team, the love and support of my husband and family and I couldn’t be more grateful for my healthy sweet little girl. No doubt giving birth is challenging and tests your limits. It’s the most profound transformation I’ve experienced and the most empowering thing I’ve ever done. 

Thank you thank you thank you