Clean Slate Day 13
What’s your story?
“Each day is a new opportunity. Yestreday is over and done. Today is the first day of my future.”
I’ve had an interest in health and nutrition since I was about 10 years old. I remember when I first learned what saturated fat was…I was visiting my Grandma in the midwest and I started checking every label to see if there was any of this devil fat in what I was about to eat. I did not want to look like some of the people I had seen at our trip to the Mall of America. Growing up in California, I was blessed being surrounded by good food and fit people but I ultimately associated health and food with being thin. When I started to consider ballet as a profession, my heath interest became more of an obsession. My ballet teacher had a talk with me at 13 about my weight and I attributed it to a growth spurt. Through high school my weight fluctuated with my changing hormones and when I decided to audition for ballet companies I decided to really buckle down, diet hard, and run 5 miles a day on top of all AP classes and 3-4 hours of dance each night. I felt very accomplished and beautiful but I knew this was not sustainable. My crazy ballerina ego was intercepted by my logical brain that knew I had to adopt better health choices. I remember once crying because I couldn’t decide what to eat for dinner and I was afraid to eat even an apple. I even missed my period for a full year.
Me about 15 pounds less than I am now.
And I still dance professionally at my current weight.
NO need to be unhealthy to get a job!
Fast forward--- 7 years into my professional ballet career, 7 years of my weight yo-yo-ing, hormone issues which turned into painful cyclical cysts in my breasts, several “fat talks”, a complex about being too weak to be a star, extremely low self-esteem, an ankle injury, a compulsion to people-please, anxiety issues—now don’t get me wrong—there were so so many amazing moments throughout this time, I would not change a thing. But something had to change. I was in a very toxic relationship and didn’t have the confidence to initiate the change I craved. This was a turning point for me…My relationship blew up, I had an injury that took me out of my summer gig, and felt pretty sorry for myself. So on a whim, I signed up for yoga teacher training. This process of self-inquiry and awareness was the beginning of deep transformation for me. My whole mindset changed from wanting to look perfect to the outside world, to wanting to feel good from the inside and radiate sunshine out to others. Honoring my body and myself was the key that unlocked so many doors for me.
During this time, I knew I had to change my mindset around food. I was not necessarily restricting myself as I used to, but I still felt guilt when I ate cake at a party or felt the need to intensely diet before a vacation. I would weigh myself each morning and the number on the scale would most often dictate my mood. I knew I felt good when I ate vegan and that it aligned with my values, but that still left me with rules rather than intuition. How could I find a balance between feeling good, keeping my weight at a good level to continue my dance career, and enjoy myself every meal? There’s no magic answer to this, but an individual journey for each person. Once I started to adopt a better mindset and healthier eating habits, eating became more of an intuitive process than a calculated diet. I adopted more of an 80/20 mindset that gave me freedom to eat at parties or treat myself when it felt right, but also stay true to my values and honor my body with the healthiest choices. I encourage you to try the 80/20 rule when transitioning out of the cleanse. These are some principles of intuitive eating that may help if you during this time:
Honor your hunger
Notice what make YOUR body feel best
Feel your fullness
Let go of guilt after a meal!
Stop “diets” and create a food lifestyle
80/20 Mindset
Movement- what gives you the energy to move your body?
Notice your patterns with food & emotional states
What are your goals? What fuels you? What is your WHY?
Transformation is the movement towards what you truly want!
So ask yourself:
How do you feel now?
How do you want to feel?
How do you want to act?
How do you want to be?
Let these questions drive your actions!
Hit reply and share your story.
Beau
